The Amish Outlaws

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PLEASE NOTE: The Amish Fat Club was a social experiment where we documented Hezekiah X's weight loss back  in 2005. This is still here because, well, it's funny. Read on for a good laugh, and a little bit of inspiration!

Amish Fat Club

As some of you may have noticed, Brother Hezekiah X has changed a bit over the past two years. We don't mean emotionally, or with regards to his tastes in ice cream (it is still cookie dough), but with regards to his physique. It could be said that he has become relatively rotund. Robust. Roly-poly. Some might even say "Junoesque." We realize that some of you may not have known Hezekiah, or the Outlaws, way back in 03, so as evidence, we submit:

Brother Hezekiah X

Brother Hezekiah
September 2003

Brother Hezekiah
March 2005

In truth, Hezekiah was also a heavy child. He beat his weight problem for much of his youth, before succumbing to it with a vengeance not long ago.

Brother Hezekiah X
Hezekiah as a child.

Brother Hezekiah X has since tried Trim Spa, Body For Life, the Grapefruit Diet, the Milkshake Diet, and more "get thin fast" schemes with varied success (from none, to none). Well, we have some big news (pun intended). Brother Hezekiah X is not gonna take it anymore! He has declared that he is going to lose weight, and starting Friday, September 30th at the Ringside Pub in Caldwell, NJ, we are launching the "Amish Fat Club" to help! Brother Hezekiah is going to have his "last meal" during the show, indulging in culinary delights from the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic! Please feel free to bring treats to the show for him to eat as part of his final feast. Then, he will "weigh in" on stage, his weight will be recorded for all to see, and then each subsequent Friday, Hezekiah will be weighed in at our performance to see how much weight he has lost or gained over that week.

The plan is for Hezekiah to get advice from a nutritionist, eat healthier, and to get help from each of his Brothers in exercising. Brother McMullen will help him with weight training. Brother Amos with biking. Brother Ezekiel with jogging. Brother Ishmael with using the latest in state-of-the-art cardiovascular workout equipment. Brother Jakob with smoking and drinking beer.

In truth, his exercise regimen of weight lifting and riding an exercise bike (slowly) has already begun. Hezekiah's weight and progress will be reported here on our web site, and any changes in size or shape will be documented photographically. Then, as mentioned above, every Friday he will be weighed in on stage to see how he is doing.

We ask that you support Brother Hezekiah in his time of need. The first thing you can do is bring some treats for him to enjoy as part of his "last meal" this Friday at the Ringside Pub. Then, at subsequent shows, when he succeeds in losing weight, make him feel good at his weigh-ins. He needs all of our help. Together, we can help him get in shape... not that he isn't "in shape" now, but the shape he is in is a globe.

              Hugs and kisses,

              The Amish Outlaws

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